Although teachers do their utmost to prevent children from getting hurt, we know that there will be the occasional need to use the bandaids in our backpacks or the ice packs in the freezer. Usually this is the result of an accident, but what do teachers do when children hit or hurt each other? Teachers at Park West take physical aggression and conflict resolution seriously and set firm boundaries to ensure everyone’s safety. It is not uncommon for children to resort to physical acts when frustrated, especially at school where they are already working hard. If a teacher sees a child hurting someone else, they will help the child stop and will state a clear limit, ie “It’s not ok to hit.” In addition, teachers will help comfort the child who is hurt, and encourage or help them to say stop, and that they didn’t like being hit, or that it hurt.
At the same time, teachers will investigate to try to understand, and help kids understand, what happened. Sometimes, a bump is accidental, or inadvertent, but other times a child might be lashing out in anger, trying to connect, or seeking physical input. Most kids are still learning to reign in physical impulses. They might be upset about what another child did or have a big reaction to a misunderstanding. Teachers help talk through conflicts, offer tools for children to manage big emotions and help them find acceptable ways to express them. If a child struggles to stop hitting or hurting, however, a teacher will help them move to another part of the classroom, and will later help them reflect on why they had to move and what they need to do in the future if they don’t want to move next time. If teachers notice that a particular child is routinely pushing or hitting, they make a plan to track those behaviors and try to head off further incidents.
Keep in mind that young kids are just developing language skills, find it hard to take another’s perspective and can’t always understand or manage their own emotions. They are still attuning their thoughts and feelings with their physical movements. Often a child reacts physically when they feel threatened, or when they don’t have the language to communicate about their needs or concerns. Many conflicts are territorial. It may be that
somebody comes too close, or tries to take their toy or a child suspects someone is about to take it. Teachers spend a lot of time helping kids learn some basic interactive skills, like asking for a turn, telling somebody when they’re not finished, remembering to give the asking child the toy when they are finished, telling other kids how they feel about things. Teachers take every opportunity they can to model and encourage communicating verbally and not physically.
Teachers also aim to help kids recognize and express their emotions in acceptable ways. When kids have angry outbursts, teachers try to provide help and a safe space for a child to settle down, along with protecting other kids from a child who is lashing out in anger. Teachers have ongoing conversations and read books in the classroom about what kids can do when they are mad, or frustrated, or disappointed, and place firm limits around hurtful actions like hitting. Kids learn from both their own experiences and through watching teachers help other children work through challenging situations.
As an assisting parent you will likely see a wide range of behaviors. Some might delight or inspire you while others might surprise or concern you. While you’re in the classroom, please call a teacher over if you see something that needs their attention. As you watch
teachers work through disputes and challenges, we hope you’ll be reassured that our approach helps all children further their abilities to both advocate for their own needs and begin to understand and respect the rights and needs of others. If you have further questions or concerns, you can reach out to your classroom teachers or the Education Directors. Together we can help kids develop the ability to express their needs and wants verbally and learn strategies to negotiate conflicts, making the classroom a safe and comfortable place to explore everyone’s ideas.