At this point in the school year, even our youngest students are beginning to internalize the daily schedule. You might see a child pointing to the various parts on a picture schedule and talking themselves through the order of the day. Understanding the sequence, and being able to predict that snack always comes after grouptime or that we always gather in the gym before going upstairs, helps children build a sense of security. That’s why we keep our classroom schedules consistent, and don’t vary them for holidays like Halloween. We like to make school an oasis amid the busyness of everyday life, and help each child know that they can count on the familiar routines of our days, even if outside there are parties or celebrations or unexpected ghouls popping up on every corner!
Building rituals and routines can be useful and fun for children and families. As young children begin to make sense of their world, making some things predictable can help them manage everyday challenges. You may already have established a bedtime routine, to help your child ready for sleep each night. Or, maybe your family has certain habits or rituals like making pancakes on Sunday, walking through the park on your way home, or Facetime with Grandma after school. You don’t have to follow a routine for each part of every day, but finding a way to give your child a sense of ownership around particular habits can help make them more manageable. There is so much that is uncertain for young children that they really relish knowing what to expect and being able to predict what will happen in their day.
Even if your child can roll with changes pretty easily, you may find that certain parts of the day are trickier than others. If it’s always a struggle for your child to leave the park, or come into school, you may want to build in some predictable patterns for those times. Talk it over ahead of time, and let them have some say in what happens. “It’s always so hard to leave the park! Let’s pick a favorite thing to do before we leave so that it’s a little easier to head home. Will you slide down the tall slide or the twisty slide before we leave?” Make it a finite choice. Then, walk them through the steps - “Ok, five minutes are up. It’s time for one last time down the slide before we go.” One last slide can become an anticipated part of each park visit, and offer you something to talk over on the way home.
For children who are finding it hard to say goodbye to you at school, help them build a routine for the school entry. Make the plan ahead of time, because it can be hard for them to make a choice in the midst of a stressful moment. “After I bring you into school, we’ll hang up your coat and wash your hands. Then, should we read one book together or or see what’s in the water table before I kiss you goodbye?” In those difficult moments when your child asks you to stay five more minutes, you can remind them that you’ve read one book, and so it’s time for the kiss goodbye.
By establishing routines for these everyday events, kids come to know what to expect, and they feel more secure. You may worry that your child will become overly dependent on routines, but developing these kinds of rituals and routines can help your child build trust in their environment. A child who knows what to expect is more secure and self-confident, so they can be amenable to occasional changes when they happen.