At our staff meeting last week we discussed a recent document released by the Chicago Public Health Department that focuses on boundary setting and consent for children of all ages including those in their early childhood years. We found that the language and approach described in the document reflects the way we communicate and work with students at Park West. We thought it would be informative and helpful to share the document with you. Please find it here.
For children enrolled in our Parent-Toddler classes, we recognize that this is likely their first experience in a school environment, and possibly their first time that they are navigating a situation with this level of structure and the presence of similarly aged peers outside of their family. With the security of a present parent or caregiver, we want children to feel safe with teachers, and we also want to provide students with the tools to make their own environment a safe and comfortable one for themselves by setting boundaries and advocating for themselves. Teaching children the words they can use when they want another kid's action to stop, whether it’s a classmate taking a toy, offering a hug or hitting, is one way we help students advocate for themselves and set boundaries with others. We might say to a child You can say No or Stop if you don’t like what ______ is doing. Being at such an early stage of their language development, sometimes children aren’t ready to use those words on their own. In those situations, a teacher can help in a variety of ways depending on what actually happened including modeling the language and saying the words for the child.
Teachers can also help seek consent from a child during play. It looks like ______ wants to put their car on the road you built. Is that ok? Or It looks like ______ wants to touch the sparkles on your shirt. Can they do that? We also prompt kids who are seeking the interaction to do the asking as well. You can ask _____ if you can put your car on the road they built. Throughout these back and forths, we hope to normalize setting boundaries as well as giving children the tools for how to do it.
As teachers we are mindful of the power differential between us and the students we teach. We want children to feel as safe as possible and to be able to practice as much autonomy as they are able. When a child needs to use the bathroom, for example, we have a number of questions we may ask a child: Do you need help? A child may let us know what kind of help they need in the bathroom, and if they don’t, we’ll ask. Do you want me to help pull your pants down? If they don’t respond, and they don’t pull their own pants down, we’ll let them know we will help. It looks like you need help with your pants. I can help you. We want to make sure children know what to anticipate from an adult and give them opportunities to voice what they need from us.
We also pay attention to what comforts children. There are some children who do respond well to a hug if they’re missing a parent or if they got a bump or hurt in some way. There are also children who just need a quiet moment to recover and don’t want physical comfort. We take note of those children and make sure they have a book to look at if they’re sad or a quiet spot to sit until they feel better.
If there are times, and there are, when a teacher needs to help a child stop an action after asking them to stop, we will let that child know I’m going to help you now and remove them from the situation. Again, it’s helping children anticipate a teacher’s behavior in our effort to both keep that child safe as well as those around them, depending on the circumstance.
Our main goal is to help children begin to understand how to set boundaries with others and seek consent as well. In the Parent-Toddler classes, we look for opportunities to introduce these ideas in ways that are simple and age appropriate. It’s a first step in building a foundation for these children’s ability to communicate clearly as a means of self-advocacy.
We were reassured by the approach taken by the Chicago Public Health Department. We hope you have a chance to take a look at the document they released this month as this is an important topic for families to address with children throughout their lives.