Navigating life with young children can really keep us on our toes, and requires an ability to constantly adapt and adjust. Just when we figure out the demands of our sleepy newborns, they become more alert and awake, and require a shift in the kinds of stimulation and support they require. Toddlers need a different kind of input, as do preschoolers, then primary age kids and tweens, then teens, and so on. Each stage places different demands on parents or caregivers, and requires us to always be shifting our approach to meet a child’s changing developmental needs.
In the busy lives of families, the ever-changing child is just part of the picture. Even if we strive to be consistent, so many variables factor into each day that we can’t always approach the same situation in the same manner. Along with outside influences like weather or work schedules, the equilibrium of the family and our own emotional state factor into every decision we make. Each new set of circumstances may warrant a different response from us.
I came across a good example of this need to check in with ourselves, and possibly vary our response, in a recent FB post by the Occuplaytional Therapist. She is an OT who shares insights into the lives of young children, through examples from her work and from her experiences raising her own two children. In the post I linked, she describes an occasion when she allowed her daughter to help her make eggs one morning, and contrasts it with another morning when she had to deny her daughter’s request to help. The same child, with almost the same situation, but on these two mornings this Mom made different choices, based in part on her own emotional state.
We all bring our own emotional state to each encounter with our kids. Considering our own level of stress can help us realize when we have the emotional reserves to manage a particular situation, and when we need to place a different limit that will benefit both us and our child. While we strive to offer consistency to our children, some days we might have the patience to let them help us cook, and other days it’s best for everyone if we do the cooking without their help. Sometimes it’s ok to say no to something that you previously said yes to. Understanding and supporting your own energy and emotional state is important, and worth considering in your interactions with your kids.
Speaking of managing our own emotional state in order to help our kids, we’ll be holding a Parent Education night in the New Year. Look for a notice soon to sign up for a discussion about “Managing Your Child’s Meltdown Without Having One Of Your Own!” I’ll be hosting, along with Katrina, and we’ll be joined by Lauren Stern Noel, a Developmental Therapist we’ve had the pleasure of working with over the last several years.
Until then, take care of yourself and your children!
Warmly,
Anita